i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize