Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
