is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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