I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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