He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
