Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
My cat gives me a boner
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
