I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
