I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
