awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
