you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
