there was a trapeze. enough said
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
