paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
