Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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