doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
