Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
