All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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