Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
