i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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