just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
sarcasm needs its own font
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
