One girl and one boy is just not enough.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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