How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
