i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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