So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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