She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
