...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
