If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
