I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
