we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
