I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize