Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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