why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
