I just made out with a guy for $7.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
