thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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