you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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