If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
