How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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