Kareoke will never be a sober sport
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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