It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
