I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
