Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
