I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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