They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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