How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize