Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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