Ambien. No doubt about it.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize