I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
