Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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