Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize