That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
