You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
