I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
