Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Randomize
