Nicole vs. Life
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
