Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
